Existential Crisis of a Christmas Tree

Have you ever thought just how hard

it must be to be a Christmas tree when your

needles have all fallen off, the decorations

have gone, the presents have been opened

and the twelve days have passed?

What would be your meaning in life?

What would become of you?

Spare your tree a thought...

...after all, it may be about to steal your diary

and publish it on the internet!

Jeste... recipe for the week

Chocolate Cateaux

Ingredients:

3-4 kgs of quality chocolate

7 litres of cream

1 large rich chocolate cake

1 ginger tom cat

1 quick cook complete spaghetti bolognese

1 dustbin

antiseptic cream

Here's What you Do:

Place the cake, cat and half the cream in the dustbin and place the lid on the bin. Eat some chocolate. After five minutes remove the lid and add more cream to compensate for the cream eaten by the cat. Replace cat, which you will probably find under the cooker or behind the fridge. Eat some chocolate and scratches on your arm from the cat with antiseptic cream. Repeat this procedure until you either run out of cream, the cat gets tired of playing or your hands and arms are too sore to continue. If the cat stays in the bin long enough give it a gentle shake and if you're lucky you should end up with a fine creation such as our picture shows. more often than not the cat wins and you get scratched to ribbons. If this happens, heat the spaghetti bolognese as an alternative. Nobody will notice, and the cat will be happier. Do NOT hurt or harm the cat, or shake it hard!