Shopping Trolley Swopping

Do you ever have those days when you just need to spend money for genuine retail therapy. Perhaps you want to buy your favourite food and wine, get extra biscuits for snacks, hit the deli for a feast-fest, and stock up on all the DVDs that have just come out including the ones you wouldn't want your work colleagues to see you buying. Comfort shopping is the thing! Well, there is a very simple way to do this and save money. Simply stock up the trolley, then at the last minute, swop it for one with really healthy food, (and not much of it), briefly left unattended by a sensible mature-looking person who has just stopped to stock up on fruit and veg. Swiftly take the newly appropriated trolley to the opposite end of the store, (they will never suspect that there is a trolley-swopper on the loose unless they have been targetted before) and lo, you can be out of there, happy, healthy and emotionally sated in minutes. Please note that it is not wise to do this if there are long queues at the checkout, if the trolley has a handbag in it or if the trolley has a child in it... and don't run too fast with the trolley or security will be alerted.

Missing Sock Songs

Odd Sock Rock (To tune of Bill Haley’s Rock Around the Clock)

One, two, three odd socks, four odd socks, rock
Five, six, seven odd socks, eight odd socks, rock
Nine, ten, eleven odd socks, twelve odd socks, rock
We’re gonna look for all the socks tonight…

I’m Looking For a Sock (To tune of I’m Wishing on a Star)

I’m looking for a sock
It’s missing from my drawer
I’ve seven gone this week
I can’t lose any more
And I’m looking for the red one with the lace
I’m looking for the white one with the face
I’m looking for the black one with Pooh Bear
I’m looking for the Simpsons, I despair
I’m looking for a sock
Looking for a sock

They Drive Me Crazy (To Tune of She Drives Me Crazy)

I can’t help
The way I feel
The socks go missing
It’s unreal
I just have them on my mind
Will they come back, at what time?
I can tell you this for free
This waiting round is killing me

They drive me crazy
Like nothing else
They drive me crazy
and I can’t help myself

I can’t get
Any rest
People say
I’m obsessed
Every sock that disappears
Leaves me sitting here in tears
I resort to drinking beers
Struggling with my foot-bare fears