Ted's Thoughts on Lent-on

(A contribution from Fidge's bear, Ted)

As a small and reflexive bear, I have got to think about what I should give up for Lent. I don’t really know what Lent is, but I have been Lent-on lots of times, so I think it must be about feeling a bit squashed and how I cope with that.

My best friend Fidge, who I live with, said there are 40 days for Lent, so I hope I am not Lent-on for that long, but she was talking about giving things up, which must be missing things, so I am thinking about missing. I was once missing in Rome when I got out of Fidge’s rucksack with my friend Podge, (he’s a tiger, you know), and we didn’t get back in quickly enough,so we got left behind. It was well scary. Podge guarded me from being stolen and sold into a life of slavery. That’s what they do to small bears in Rome.

So my thoughts on missing and being missing is like this, (but they are private, so please don’t tell everyone, as I am shy and retiring and feeling a bit embarrassed at telling people what goes on in my fluffy head). So I have thought about 40 things for me to contemplate when I am being Lent-on, one for each day.

1. I don’t like being missing. I feel unsafe if Fidge doesn’t know where I am, even if she’s not with me. Being missing feels like nobody knowing where I am. When it happened to me it made me feel lonely and scared.
2. What I would miss most in the world if it went missing would be Fidge. I don’t want her to go missing for 40 days. I’d rather be Lent-on.
3. Sometimes Fidge needs to Lean-on me so she knows I’m not missing.
4. Missing Fidge makes me feel like my stuffing is turned upside down and I feel wobbly and not quite right.
5. I miss my friend Podge, and I think I don’t see him enough, but I can’t do anything about it because he lives in a place where they talk funny, (Great Harwood), and neither of us is allowed to drive.
6. Sometimes I assume things about other bears because of what I think they are missing. Like when I see a lonely bear with nobody to love, I might think they are isolating themselves, or very sad, or perhaps not very well, but I may be completely wrong.
7. I don’t like missing dinner, especially if it’s fish pie. I love fish pie.
8. Sometimes I start to miss something before it has gone missing if I know that it is going missing.
9. I might be missing some marbles apparently, and I didn’t even know I had any! I heard someone in the living room say I’d lost them. I am confused by that. I can’t hold marbles. I’d like some to look at, so hopefully we’ll find them again.
10. The biggest thing I have missed the longest is my ear, which fell off many years ago. My other ear has shrunk a bit, I know that Fidge keeps it safe and I trust her with that.
11. When I think about what I need as opposed to what I want, and what would happen if I was missing the things that I need, I think the thing I need most is being loved. I can’t imagine missing that for 40 days.
12. I often confuse missing what I want with what I need.
13. I get resentful if somebody else has something that I feel that I am missing if I think it’s not fair. Of course I often don’t know the reasons that people have things that I am missing.
14. Some of the things I feel are missing in my life I am better off not having.
15. I heard someone call Fidge a ‘little Miss’ once, but I that didn’t make sense because she was there all the time.
16. Sometimes I want to be missing, but don’t because it would hurt people.
17. Time goes more slowly when I am missing Fidge.
18. Sometimes I miss Fidge much more as the time gets closer to me seeing her again.
19. I miss being Lent-on when I am kept ‘safe’ or left at home when Fidge goes away. Sometimes she goes to far away Scottish Islands. I’d love to go, although I do get a bit sea-sick. When she goes a long way, I usually go with her. I have been to Austria, Belgium, Spain, Cheltenham, London, Italy and a lot of other places.
20. I miss some of my nose and fur that’s been loved off, but I know that’s what makes me special, so I don’t mind too much really.
21. I miss my old colour, but now I have a new colour. The new colour is what the old colour was after it has faded, so it is part of the same colour really.
22. I miss my dress when I sunbathe naked, and it makes me feel a bit unsafe, especially if there are German tourists around.
23. Fidge sometimes misses different things to me. Sometimes when I think she is missing something, she is really missing something else without me knowing.
24. I am missing some brains, and sometimes the way to say the right thing, but I try not to worry what other people think about that. Sometimes I worry about it, but I have to accept that I can’t change it.
25. Sometimes I don’t know I am going to miss something until it is gone.
26. After something has gone missing, it changes me.
27. Often I appreciate something much more after I have got it back when it has been missing.
28. Fidge’s socks go missing and sometimes I hide them, but she thinks it’s a sock fairy.
29. I’m missing teeth. Some people think I should have teeth, because I am a bear, but that’s just because they don’t know much about bears.
30. Missing can really really hurt.
31. I have to learn how to deal with my missing. Sometimes what I miss will come back, sometimes it will not and sometimes it will come back but different. I wonder what is happening to things while they are missing, but have no way of knowing.
32. Sometimes I try too hard to get what I think I am missing, which may make me miss it more, but doesn’t usually help me to get it.
33. Most of the things that I miss I cannot do anything about. I am only a small bear with small paws.
34. Just because there are some people I miss for a long time doesn’t make me miss them less.
35. Knowing Podge is safe doesn’t stop me missing him, but it does help me to deal with it, so I like him to let me know how he is every so often.
36. I don’t like being missed out.
37. Sometimes I miss being with other bears, although I am very happy where I live.
38. What we miss about others isn’t always what they miss about us.
39. I was once told I was missing the point, but I didn’t ever have a point that I knew about. That may not stop me missing it I suppose, but it doesn’t make much sense to a small bear. I suppose I may be missing things that people see I am missing even when I do not myself realize that they are missing.
40. I would really miss being Lent-on.